Dear Diary

Nate, passando per l’albergo dove aveva passato la notte con Juliet, si accorge che la donna mente e va subito a riferirlo a Vanessa che accetta di aiutarlo per scoprire cosa Juliet nasconde. Dan si accorge che tra Colin e Serena c’è qualcosa perché li vede uscire insieme dallo stesso taxi dove i due avevano deciso di passare un week-end insieme per conoscersi, ma alla fine Serena si accorge di sbagliare e lo lascia. Blair e Chuck continuano a fare del sesso sfrenato. Intanto Juliet rivela a Nate di essere povera e che per questo gli ha mentito. Nate le dà una seconda possibilità e Juliet decide di non parlare più a Ben in modo che la sua storia finalmente funzioni. Intanto Vanessa scopre che Juliet ha la foto di Colin e Serena e decide di credere a Juliet quando diceva che Serena si vendeva per sesso in cambio di voti e quindi vuole smascherarla davanti a tutti, mentre Juliet ormai non ne ha la minima intenzione. Tutti vanno al ballo. Qui, però, Vanessa riesce a far cambiare idea a Juliet e quando Juliet sta per mostrare le foto al rettore, Blair prende la sua memory card e la getta nel drink che sta bevendo, dicendo di essere lei la studentessa che stava con il prof., Chuck nel difenderla e nel darle ragione afferma che è la verità dicendo che è a conoscenza di tutto a causa della sua folle gelosia che lo induce a spiarla. Il rettore, non sapendo a chi credere, decide di far finta di nulla. Così Colin decide di non mantenere più economicamente Juliet, e i ragazzi decidono di “cacciarla” via una volta per tutte. Colin e Serena rompono pacificamente mentre sembra che una nuova alleanza si sia formata: Vanessa Abrams, Juliet Sharp e Jenny Humphrey.

Dear Diary

Dear Diary

May 15th, 2012

Blair was freaking the ef out. Her very private diary entries were posted on Gossip Girl for all to see. Sorrrrrry! (But like how could Inot post them?) B was livid at Serena. How could she do this to her? Serena admitted she was never going to publish them. She just wanted to know she could. Plus, S was upset about the whole Dan thing. But how was she to ever think that I, GG, would steal hercomputer with everything on it? (I’m so stealth!) Blair could not believe this was happening. There was only one thing to do: damage control. The minions had to help her apologize to everyone she had written negative remarks about. And let me tell you this, it was a lot of people/places/things. Donations and apology notes would do the trick right? You better hope so, B.

Unfortunately for Serena, Blair wasn’t going to let her off the hook for uploading the diary entries. She demanded Penelope to find out every secret of S’. Uh oh. When Serena learned her invitation toThe Beautiful and the Damned movie premiere (the film she worked on last summer) had been rescinded, she just knew Blair was somehow behind it. Turned out, Blair had sent in to GG a journal entry Serena supposedly had written admitting she’s never read The Beautiful and the Damned. I posted it, natch. Revenge’s a bitch and her name’s Blair Waldorf. B thought the cost of one summer job and losing some work contacts was nothing compared to exposing all of B’s secret thoughts. Sorry, but Blair’s not sorry.

Due to her private journal entries being exposed, Blair just knew her relationship with Dan was going to be over. Now she and Serena would both be alone. Serena blamed Blair for causing her to be single. Because seriously, B had Chuck, B had her prince, B didn’t need to take Dan too. Serena thought Blair was still in love with Chuck but just wouldn’t admit it. And with that, Blair told Serena to pack her things and leave her key with Dorota. Move out! Whoa!

Too bad for Blair that I released this journal entry of hers: “What if I never love anyone more than I love Chuck?” Yikes! Guess that answered who’s in Blair’s heart. When Dan saw it, he was obviously shocked. Blair confronted him and said it was just a fleeting thought she had before their hotel incident. But their elevator sex fixed it. Dan thought this was more about feelings then sex. After all, he did tell her he loved her and she pretended she didn’t hear it. Dan thought the reason Blair couldn’t say she loved him was because of Chuck. He didn’t want her coming to Italy with him if they weren’t on the same page. So Dan gave Blair an ultimatum. She had to tell him how she felt that night. At the Shepherd’s divorce party. Clock’s ticking, B.

But little did Blair know, Chuck was getting some advice from his not so dead father. Bart was proud of Chuck for all that he had accomplished with Bass Industries in his absence. Chuck thought he had made some mistakes. Most importantly, he lost the woman he loved, Blair. Bart didn’t understand what his son was waiting for. No one did a grand romantic gesture like a Bass. Ahh!

All the while, Lily was dealing with the fact that, you know, HER HUSBAND WAS STILL ALIVE!!! Bart was thankful to Lily for adopting Chuck after his fake death. In fact, he’d love to try to repair their relationship. Too bad she was still married to Rufus. Oh yeah, Rufus. Well, when the Brooklyn rocker found out Bart was alive he was set on doing one thing: Making sure his marriage to Lily would still be legal. Since Bart and Lily never got divorced, they were technically still married. One of her marriages would have to be annulled. Since Rufus wanted to make sure it was his that survived, he went to Bart with annulment papers. He told the not dead guy that Lily had chosen the man she wanted to be with and that man was Rufus. Besides, three years ago, Lily was going to leave Bart for Rufus anyway. Bart said all he wanted was for Lily to be happy. He’d get Rufus the papers by the end of the day. Wowza!

Nate wanted Lola to move in with him for the summer. But before he could ask her, she told him that she got a job as a swing in a touring company of Wicked. Whatever that means. Lola needed to take the job because with her mom in jail she couldn’t afford to live in the city for the summer. But then William van der Woodsen came to town and told his daughter that half of CeCe’s estate would be transferred to her. Nate was happy. This meant his GF could stay in NY and they could be together. Aww. But before Lola decided what to do, she needed to see her mom. So she went to visit her in jail. Ew. Carol was optimistic about getting out. Abrams and Weil, a great law firm, had taken on her case pro bono. Things would be sorted out soon. Yay! Lola was skeptical about this pro bono business and went to see Aunt Lily. Lily said she didn’t to anything for Carol but she would be more than happy to help. Hmm seems a bit nice after all they went through. But then Lily received annulment papers from her lawyer. And they were signed by Bart. Lily was confused. As she went to process the information, Lola caught a glimpse of the envelope. Sure enough, Lily’s lawyers were Abrams and Weil. Something’s fishy!

Lily was way surprised to receive the annulment papers. When she asked Bart about it, he told her Rufus had come to see him. Lily was irate. Rufus had the legal document drawn up before even talking with her?! The nerve! It’d be Lily’s choice who she stayed married to. And with that, Mrs. Rhodes van der Woodsen Bass Humphrey ripped up the annulment papers. Craziness!

Blair was way confused by her love life and turned to her mother, Eleanor. The truth was she didn’t know what she wanted. Dan was her best friend. With him, she felt strong and safe. But with Chuck she felt vulnerable. He’s devastated her yet she’s never been happier than with him. This all made Blair feel weak. Eleanor told her that even moguls have hearts. And seriously, there was no woman in the world more powerful than Blair Waldorf. Eleanor had so much confidence in her daughter that she wanted her to take over her company. Whaaat? Eleanor was going to retire. OMG!!! B as head of Waldorf Designs. <3 it!

Serena wasn’t going to let Blair have the last word. So she hired the minions to work for her. Geez, those girls know no loyalty. S had Kati go to the Empire where she took a picture of Chuck holding that famous diamond engagement ring. Turned out, Bart had been at Harry Winston earlier that day to pick up an apology gift for Lily. He got the ring out of the vault. Perhaps it was time for Chuck to make the grand romantic gesture. And what better way than with a diamond, right? S also had Penelope go to the Waldorfs with the intent to not let Blair leave the penthouse. Oy! What does she have planned?!

At the Shepherd divorce party, Serena waited with Dan for Blair. Where could that girl ever be? When the GG blast went out with the picture Kati took of Chuck holding the ring, Dan was obviously upset. And S fed into it. Chuck would never make such a bold move unless he was sure of Blair’s response. When Dan wanted to leave, Serena accidentally? bumped into a waiter causing a ton of drinks to spill all over her and Dan. Oops. She knew of where they could go to clean up and the two found themselves in The Campbell Apartment (fun fact: this is where Serena and Nate banged on the bar!). S received a text from Penelope that B was on her way to the party (you suck at your job, P!). That meant it was time for Serena to kick it up a notch. She quickly got out of her wet dress. Sexxxxy. Serena told Dan the Blair he loved was the one in his book and that B only used Dan since she knew S loved him. And with that, S kissed Dan. Then they started making out on the bar. What else is new at the Campbell Apartment?! When they were finished, Dan noticed S’ camera was on. It had been recording them. Oops again. Dan spotted a text from Penelope about keeping Blair at home. Dan could not believe this. S knew where B was the whole time? What was S gonna do, post their sex video on GG? What a manipulator! Before S could defend herself, she showed Dan a text from Kati. Turned out, Blair had left her house. But she hadn’t come to the divorce party. Nope, Blair was with Chuck at the Empire. Eek!!!

At the Bass Industries press conference, Chuck announced that the company would be a family business. But when Bart took the podium, he had a bit of a different idea about the future. Starting today, Bart would be the only Bass in Bass Industries. Chuck was confused. He thought they were going to be partners. All Chuck did was protect the company and Bart’s legacy while he was gone. WTH, dad?! Bart thought otherwise. Chuck was weak for Blair Waldorf. He traded her for a hotel deed, let the company fall apart when he ran away to Europe and then almost bankrupted it trying to save her from her marriage. Chuck’s willing to throw everything away for a girl who’s tormented him. When Bart gave Chuck back the diamond ring, it was a test. And Chuck failed. Bass Industries needed to be run by a man, not a boy. That’s gotta hurt!

Blair saw the press conference go down. So unpretty. She confronted Chuck and told him she loved him. She’s in love with him. There’s nothing she can do to stop it. They should be together. Who cares about Bass Industries anyway? Blair was going to be head of Waldorf Designs. They’d be okay. Chuck told her this was what he wanted. But only before he lost everything. The sole reason Waldorf Designs had a future was because Chuck gave up his. Chuck had nothing and Blair was not enough. Besides, C didn’t want to be Mr. Blair Waldorf. He was Chuck Bass!

One week later, everyone was cementing their summer plans. Chuck was off to meet Jack. I know, weird! You see, Bart had cut Jack out of the company too. Chuck thought Uncle Jack was the perfect partner to help him get back what he deserved. Now that should be interesting.

Lola was off to tour with Wicked. She told Nate she donated the money she inherited from CeCe but in reality she gave it to, ready for it?, Ivy Dickens! CeCe had actually left it to her anyway. But Ivy did make one promise to Lola. She would take down Lily. Ahh!!!

Since Lily could only have one marriage with one man, guess which one she chose? OMG Bart! She signed the papers and annulled her marriage to Rufus. Now Lily and Bart were off to the Hamptons for the summer to make things better. Um, good luck?

Blair had been e-mailing Dan trying to apologize for everything. But he was having none of it. Understandable, I guess. When Serena came to the loft, she was beyond sorry for all that went down. She deleted the sex video, no one would ever see it. But the truth was S loved Dan. She was pretty sure that he never would have done anything with her if he didn’t still have feelings for her too. So maybe, they could, you know? But Dan said he and S would never be together. Ever. And now that their parents were splitting up, he never had to see Serena gain. Harsh.

As for Blair, she was off in Paris with Eleanor. She hadn’t spoken to Serena. But whatever. No, Blair was looking forward to discussing heel heights and hemlines at Waldorf Designs. Nothing was holding her back. You go, B!

Nate received a package from Diana Payne. It contained a flash drive with a note that said, “Could this be your GG?” Nate put it in his computer and watched a video of someone in a hoodie stealing a laptop at the Vardin Manor. Oh no, I’m trembling.

Weirdly enough, Dan had someone he was going to take to Italy with him: Georgina Sparks! I know, still hate her! Dan needed G’s help. He wanted her photographic memory in order to help him write the book about the Upper East Side that he should have written from the beginning. Oh shiz!

Poor Serena. Rejected from Dan, no BFF. She was at an all time low. So I only kicked her while she was down. I promised to never write about her ever again on Gossip Girl. But here’s my final remark about Serena van der Woodsen: she was doing cocaine with some random guy on a train. Way to go out big, S!

Chuck and Jack were in Monte Carlo together. They were gambling up a storm and were ahead a lot of money. That’s probably because Jack knew how to count cards. But then the craziest thing happened: Blair showed up (Jack had called her, aw?). Since Chuck had fought for her all year, it was time for Blair to fight for him. And guess what? She was in it to win it. Oooh!!

My, my, my. You people make me love what I do. Never change. Now I know I was away for some time but I’m going to take another break for the summer. But rest assured when I’m back I’ll be better than ever. See you in the fall, my loves. Xoxo Gossip Girl

xo xo Gossip Girl | 88 Comments »

Oh Mio Dio!

May 8th, 2012

It feels so good to have my site back. Oh, how I’ve missed serving you the gossip. But now I’ve returned and bitches, I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me. For better or worse.

So whoa. Bart Bass wasn’t dead. Can you freaking believe it? I can’t. Bart told Chuck all about how he faked his death. Turned out, he had been in an actual car accident. But survived it. Who caused it? One of Bart’s competitors. You see Bart had some major information on the guy. Information that would put the man away. But Chuck didn’t understand. Why hadn’t his father just gone to the police like a normal person? Bart didn’t think it mattered since the competitor had started making scary threats against Lily and Chuck. Pretending to die was the only way Bart could truly protect his family. So he contacted his old friend, Diana Payne, who utilized her world contacts to keep him safe. She kept Bart informed about what was going on with his family. Diana even snuck Bart back into the country when Chuck needed blood after the car accident. Chuck had so many questions. But too bad for him, his time with daddy dearest was up. Bart had to go. If the man he was hiding from found out he were actually alive, he’d go after him or Chuck. Chuck thought this could all be fixed. So he called PI extraordinaire Andrew Tyler and told him that he recently found out someone was after his father before his death. Andrew needed to look into it ASAP. But Tyler said he couldn’t help Chuck with this. This was all years ago. Seemed like a waste of time. Oh no!

Meanwhile, Blair found out that Dan had lied to her about the summer program in Italy. He had told her that they had found someone else when in actuality he had turned it down. Blair didn’t get why Dan would do such a thing. He admitted that he was nervous about leaving her for the whole summer in NYC. You know, with Chuck and all. Blair said there was nothing to worry about! Take the offer. She didn’t want to stand in the way. Cuuuute!

Later on, back at the Waldorfs, Serena confessed to Blair that she had been acting as GG for the past few months. B was indeed furious. But only because S hadn’t let her in on the scheme! Blair would have loved to write posts and whatnot (you probs would have done a better job than S, no offense). Fortunately, it seemed like these two were still gonna be BFFs. Phew.

Blair went off for the day to replace the Le Mer eye cream she had borrowed from her mother. While out and about, Chuck found her. He needed to find a way to keep his father from leaving. And what did Blair do? She went with him. Ahh! Their first stop? To see Diana Payne. While waiting to talk to the Brit, Serena called Blair and told her that Dan had arrived at the penthouse with some news. Crap. Blair knew what she had to do so she left Chuck to do his business. C went in to see Diana and pleaded with her. She had to know who tried to kill his father. Please just tell him. Diana thought about it. And like any good UESer, she said if she told him, she’d need something in return…

When Nate found out Chuck was working on something with Diana, he was pissed. Because all N wanted was to get Diana out at The Spectator. Nate even threatened to tell everyone about her side job as a madam. But Diana thought that exposing her dirty little side job would embarrass Nate and his paper. She wasn’t going anywhere. Nate didn’t understand why Chuck was dealing with this annoying lady. But Chuck told his BFF he was working on a deal that’d make them all happy. There was a paper in London that needed a facelift and Diana agreed to take it over. All in exchange that her pimp job would never be found out. Therefore her reputation would be intact. Nate was furious! He wanted justice. Perhaps Lola could help him…

Diana finally gave up to Chuck who Bart’s competitor was. His name’s Mason Nevins. He’s got ties to organized crimes and likes twins. In fact, Diana had two of her girls paying him a visit that very day at The James Hotel. If someone were to catch Nevins in the act, it’d be bad. After all, Nevins was a family man. But then Diana got a call from a friend at the Times who knew all about the deal. Diana immediately took back everything she said. There was no way Chuck could use her girls. Deal was off! And so was Diana. WTF? Nate and Lola confessed to Chuck they had tipped off the lady at the Times. They couldn’t let Diana get away without consequences. And that’s when Chuck told them why he needed Diana so badly: his dad was alive and he wanted to get him out of hiding. Uh oh.

Blair arrived back at the penthouse and there Dan was ready to share his news. He talked to the people from the Rome program and Blair could come with him! They just needed to be interviewed first. Blair was a bit skeptical, but then gave in. A summer in Rome sounded fab! But first, Blair and Dan had to impress the interviewer! So much to do before he arrived. Although talk about a wrench in the plan when S texted Blair that Chuck was in serious trouble. Yikes. So what’d B do? She said she was going to go to pick up gelato for the Italian interviewer. Oh mio dio!

Blair knew Dan needed her to be at the interview. But she also knew Chuck needed her help. Decisions!! So B sent Serena back to the penthouse in her place. Yep, S pretended to be Blair. And boy, did she put on her best B. The interviewer totally bought it. Luckily for everyone, Dan and “Blair” got into the program. Woo hoo! Dan didn’t understand. Where the heck was his current girlfriend? Serena lied and said she was with Eleanor. But what do you know? Eleanor showed up and said she hadn’t seen Blair all day. Busted! Serena had to admit the truth. Blair was with Chuck. But he needed to trust her. Dan wasn’t so sure. I mean he did tell her he loved her and she didn’t say it back. Serena told him that Blair probably just needed time with that. However, the lie she was currently covering for was life or death. Then Serena admitted what the big secret was: Bart Bass was alive. And with that Dan was all, “whaaaaaat?”

While S was BSing as B, Blair was working on helping Chuck. Since they couldn’t use Diana’s girls, they needed new ones to entrap Nevins. But who for the job? That’s when Lola stepped forward and volunteered herself. And who better to pretend to be her twin than Ivy. OMFG! In the hotel room, Blair instructed the prudes on what they were to do. They needed to handcuff Nevins to the bed. Preferably get him undressed before that. Then Chuck would burst in to take pictures. As the girls waited for the guy to show up, they practiced their poses. It was funny and sad at the same time! Although when there was a knock on the door, they were prepared. But it wasn’t Nevins at the door. It was, huh?, Andrew Tyler. The girls thought he was Nevins so they told him to get nekkid. But Andrew told them that Chuck had sent him. They were in danger and so was Bart. Nevins knew about their plan and he was on his way to see Chuck. They gotta go now. Hurry!

Or not. Outside the hotel, Blair told Chuck she saw Andrew Tyler get into the elevator. Chuck was confused. He hadn’t sent Andrew up there. Oh no. Chuck and Blair raced to the hotel room and sure enough Lola and Ivy were gone. ACK!!

Andrew Tyler took the girls to the Manor House. Unfortunately for him, Chuck, Blair and Bart showed up and confronted him (Lola had texted them where they were – good girl, you’re learning!). Turned out, Andrew Tyler had played a huge part in all this. He had gotten a lot of info about Nevins for Bart. But then Nevins threatened him and his family. Tyler had no choice but to turn. To prove his loyalty, he told Nevins where Bart would be the night of the car accident. How rude! Little did Andrew know but the police were there and they quickly arrested him. Now that the truth was out, looked like Bart would be sticking around. Yay!

In a change of heart, Nate decided to let Diana go off without ruining her reputation. She admitted to him that working at The Spectator with Nate was the happiest she’d ever been. Please let her leave with her name still intact. Don’t humiliate her. So Nate let her go. Goodbye, Diana Payne. Or whatever your real name is.

Blair was thankful to Serena for covering for her that day with the Italian interviewer as well as with Dan. Serena was happy to do it. But she thought that perhaps B needed to tell Dan she loved him. B said she wasn’t ready to say those words just yet. The truth was she wanted the next person she said them to to be the last.

Now that the police had Andrew Tyler’s confession, they could get Nevins. Thus Bart would be able to show his face to the world. Woo hoo! Bart told Chuck that he was proud of him for all that he’d done since he’d been “dead.” Aww. But suppose there was one person he needed to break this news to: Lily. Oh yeah! They had been going through a difficult time when Bart “died”, but they were technically married. OMG!!

At the Humphrey loft, Blair and Dan began planning their summer. Blair admitted there was nothing she wanted more than to go to Rome with her boyfriend. But then a blast went out. From yours truly. It was an entry from Blair’s diary, telling everyone who was really in her heart. Whoa! And trust me, there’s lots more where that came from. All courtesy of B’s BFF, Serena van der Woodsen.

Now that I have my site back it’s time to reclaim my glory. This is the first step. Hope you all are ready for the mayhem. I know I am. Xoxo Gossip Girl

xo xo Gossip Girl | 38 Comments »

Night of the Living Dead

May 1st, 2012

Speechless. I am utterly flabbergasted after the shocking bomb that just exploded. And boy, was it massive! Okay, okay. Before I get to it all, I need to rewind a bit. Here goes.

Diana and Jack Bass were in cahoots over a highly sensitive and secretive operation. If anything were to go wrong, they’d be screwed. But uh oh, Diana couldn’t find her day planner. So she started to panic. Where the ef could it be? Oh, I know! Nate and Chuck had it. Remember, Nate had stolen it after his and Diana’s afternoon delight. The only problem was that the book was in code. WTF? It was just a bunch of jumbled numbers and letters. Crap. However, Chuck and Nate were optimistic. They could figure out the code. And once they did it would lead them to Jack who Chuck had a lot of questions for. Was he his real father?! Hmm…Get cracking, guys!

Meanwhile, Lola had finally convinced Nate that Serena was acting as Gossip Girl. Unfortunately, even though they now had the GG username and password (that Lola had stolen from S’ room), they were being denied access into the website. Serena must have changed it all. Ugh. But Lola was still determined to take the faker down. Perhaps by overthrowing Serena, they could also overthrow her ally Diana Payne. Get that Brit out of The Spectator for good. But how would they do all this? Well, Nate did have the real Gossip Girl’s number since she texted him one time (after the horrific car accident). Score! And thus Nate and Lola’s plan began to roll into motion.

Lola, the new van der Woodsen daughter, went to see her sister cousin, Serena, and told her that Diana was working with the real GG to take S down. GG was probably using one of Diana’s secrets to blackmail her into working with her. Since Lola had Diana’s day planner, perhaps the half sisters could get to the secret first. They just had to decode the book. And that’s when Serena said she once saw Diana writing in that very day planner with a smaller book next to it. That’s probably the key. Serena should find that book and then they could start decoding it all. We are family! Yay! But actually, nay! Because right after Lola left, S IMed Diana to tell her the gang had her day planner. S’ a double agent!! Diana told Serena to get the book back from her friends ASAP. But S was all “what’s in it for me?” Diana said that she had GG’s cell phone number. If they tracked down the real Gossip Girl, Serena could blackmail her and therefore keep the site as her own forever. Evil laugh muahahaha.

All the while, Dan was having some serious writer’s block. Weirdly enough, his girlfriend was also a bit clogged when it came to getting inspiration. In fact, Blair was going to spend the day at the Met to soak in all its beauty and hopefully get unclogged. Dan, on the other hand, had been put in touch with a woman named Lucia through his agent. Lucia worked for the Italian Arts and Letters Institute in Rome and she invited Dan to be an artist in residence there. Whoa! Dan thought that was exactly what his uninspired mind needed. The only problem was that it was for the entire summer and he needed to talk to his girlfriend before accepting. So when he called up Blair to discuss this with her, he was surprised to learn she was not at the Met like she said she would be. So where was she? Turned out, B was at the Empire. With her friends (including Chuck). You see Chuck had recruited her for their deciphering project. This was right up Blair’s alley. She could not turn down such an awesome venture! Blair told Dan he should say yes to the Rome program. It’d be good for him. Besides, they’re the kind of couple who don’t hold one another back, they help each other grow. Aww?

Serena came back to the Empire to tell the group that she struck out and couldn’t find the decoder book (you didn’t even look!). Boo. She told everyone good luck and was on her way. But as S left, she pocketed Diana’s day planner. Whaaaat? Fortunately, Lola realized it and ran after Serena. WTF, S? Why was she protecting Diana? S admitted that Diana had GG’s phone number. Sorry, but finding GG was more important than helping Nate kick Diana out of The Spectator. But then Chuck told S that Diana had lied. She wasn’t his actual mother. She was just covering for his real father. Who happened to be Jack. The book was the only chance of tracking Jack down. S was shocked. Huh? Serena felt bad so she handed over the book. Way to pull at the heartstrings!

While looking at Diana’s day planner, Blair tried most standard code breakers. Nothing was working. Hmm. Although she did notice that on the 1st Saturday of every month at 9pm, there was an appointment made up of 14-15 letters. And luckily, there was an appointment scheduled for that night. If they cracked those, they’d crack the rest. But it’s so hard! Therefore it was time to call in for backup. Paging housekeeper extraordinaire Dorota! She showed up at Diana’s hotel room acting as a masseuse. Dorota put an earpiece in which allowed our favorites to listen in on her conversation with Diana. She asked Diana why she had missed last month’s appointment. Diana said she hadn’t booked an appointment since she wasn’t in the country. Dorota gave some hard rubs to find out which country that could be. Diana finally cracked. Literally. Portugal! Blair looked at the book. OMG! The letters were international phone numbers. Last month’s included the country code for Portugal. So Chuck called the number that was listed for that night. He told the person on the other line that he was interested in attending the event. The woman gave him the address of the Vardin House in Briarcliff Manor. Oh gosh. What are they getting involved in?!?!

Since the book was useless to the gang, Serena gave it back to Diana. In exchange, Diana gave Serena GG’s real #. But before S could even look at it, Lola swooped in and took the piece of paper from her. They should GPS GG’s location and track her down. Unbeknownst to S, Lola texted Nate that they were on their way. Ahhh what is happening?!?

Blair, Chuck and Nate all went to the “party” which was more like a bunch of scantily clad ladies hanging out with guys in suits. Whaaaaat? Chuck knew exactly what this was. It was a roving brothel. His father had been a member. This was the perfect place for a degenerate like Jack to hang out at. He must be hiding somewhere. They had to find him! Perhaps a tour of the house from a prostitute? Lead the way harlot!

Serena and Lola showed up. They got into the party pretending to be waitresses. The guy at the door had asked if they were India’s girls and they said yes. Thank goodness they got in because they had GPS’d Gossip Girl and she was in the building. Whoa! Come find me!
Nate spotted Diana at the party. Yes! They were so close to finding out her secret. Unfortunately, before Nate could confront her, Diana went into a room where she started watching everything go down via security cameras. She flipped when she saw Chuck and Blair were there and immediately called the head of security. Yikes.

Serena couldn’t wait any longer to find Gossip Girl. So she called the number she was given and heard ringing. OMG! Within freaking reach! But all of a sudden, everyone started rushing out of rooms. Security guards were telling everyone to get out. The cops had been tipped off and they were on their way. Party’s over!! And so was S’ quest to find GG. HA!

Chuck finally found Jack in a room. He wanted answers. Diana Payne wasn’t his mother and Jack had been the one who was behind all the lies. Chuck showed him the picture of Elizabeth pregnant with the tattooed arm wrapped around her. That was Jack’s arm! Is he his father? But then they were interrupted when security busted in and took Chuck away! Noooooo…

And while Blair was searching the house, she opened the door and saw something crazy. Something shocking. Something frightening. OMG what was it? Later, Blair found Jack. Did he tell Chuck about what he’s actually hiding here? Jack said that no one’s supposed to know about this. So many people will get hurt. Blair absolutely cannot tell Chuck what she saw. No matter what! But when Blair and Chuck found one another again, he could sense something was up. She told him he needed to go back into that house at once! Hmmm…!
Nate and Lola found Diana. Nate warned Diana that unless she wanted everyone to know she ran a high-class escort service, she needed to walk away from The Spectator forever. Diana just laughed. Amateurs. The cops weren’t really coming. How was Nate going to even prove this? Nate though Serena could break this story on GG right this instant. But when Serena went to sign into Gossip Girl, her password was denied. And her computer? It was gone. Why? Because GG (me!!) had taken it. Nate and Lola had set S up. Poor, S (not!). Turned out, Nate had texted me their location and told me that S would show up at the house. He and Lola made sure I got to her computer so I could change the password and finally take my site back once and for all. Serena was livid. And when she called the phone number she had for GG, it had been disconnected. Sucker!!

Little did Blair know but Dan had seen B and Chuck get into a limo together earlier and he followed them to Briarcliff Manor. Now Dan didn’t get out of the car, but he did realize something important. He called up Lucia and told her that he would not be going to Rome. Whaaaat? Dan thought that he could work anywhere but his relationship could not. Putting romance before career? Not a fan! Blair went to see Dan after the crazy night she’d been through. Dan even lied and said that Lucia had found someone else for the program. Wanting to make sure he made the right decision, Dan told Blair he loved her. And guess what? She didn’t say it back! Whoa!!
Oh, Serena. No GG, no nothing. Life must suck. But good for moi, because I put a blast out. I’m back, bitches. Feels so good!
Diana and Jack were relieved that no one found out their secret and their plan was still in motion. But little did they know, Chuck had returned to the house and when he went into a room he saw something. Something so astonishing, so bizarre, that I can’t even believe I’m about to type this. Standing in front of Chuck was….BART BASS! OMFG Bart’s alive?

Am I dreaming? Do ghosts exist? I need answers! ASAP. Boo! Xoxo Gossip Girl

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OUCH!

April 30th, 2012

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Highbrow Yet Despicable

April 25th, 2012

You may think you know someone. But every now and again they act in a way that shows their true colors. And sometimes those colors are horrifying.

There was finally some good news for the recently unlucky van der Woodsen family. CeCe’s will had been invalidated after her nurse came forward to say that Ivy had tricked the poor, sick woman. Now the estate would be split 50/50 between Lily and Carol. You know, actual members of CeCe’s family. Ivy was shocked by the nurse’s accusations. She did nothing but take care of CeCe. The nurse lied. How much had Lily paid her? But Lily didn’t care about her phony niece’s claims. See ya later, Ivy Dickens. Forever.

In order to clear the air about all the recent allegations of the family bickering over money, Lily decided to throw a dinner party and invite a reporter. Serena thought there were two people she should invite: her father and Lola. So Serena went in search of her cousin. But first she called her dad to tell him about the party. Sadly for her, William said he was out of town. Rain check! But what would you know. Serena just so happened to walk by Lola having breaking with, dun dun dun, William van der Woodsen! Whaaat? Unbeknownst to Serena, William had just revealed to Lola that he wasn’t just her ex-uncle but he was also, ready for it? William in Darth Vader voice: Lola. I am your father. William wanted a relationship with his daughter. He was a lousy dad to Serena and Eric and now he’d learned from his mistakes. They should focus on the future. Although how about they keep this jaw dropping news to themselves for now.

Later on, Serena confronted her dad at his hotel. She could not believe her father had lied to her about being in NY. And hanging out with Lola? WTF, dad? S confronted him about it. He fibbed and said he had just so happened to bond with his niece. But to make it up to S, he’d be happy to attend the dinner that night. Score! Now Serena just needed to find Lola to invite her. So she went to The Spectator. Nate told Serena she’d just missed her cousin. Lola had come earlier to see Nate to apologize for outing Diana as Chuck’s mother. She felt terrible. Especially after she recently had learned who her own father was. Since Nate’s lips are beyond loose (DON’T TELL HIM ANYTHING!), he informed Serena that Lola was with her father just that morning. Serena put two and two together and WTH, Lola was not just her cousin but her sister too? OMFG!

Of course, Serena went right to her mom and told her to cancel the dinner. William had an affair with Carol when he was still married to Lily. Lola was her sister. It all made sense now. The reason why Carol hid her daughter all these years, why she hired Ivy. Lily was surprisingly stoic. She told Serena they needed to handle their present problems before they dealt with past issues. It would be a good idea for them to keep quiet about it all until after the reporter left. Then they could calmly sort if out. Phew. However, Lily did call someone about a partnership. And who was that someone? You’re never going to guess it: Ivy!

When Nate wasn’t being the world’s worst secret keeper, he was dealing with Diana. She wanted to work in peace with him. Although it was kind of hard because she totally still had feelings for him. Nate was all “ummm, you’re Chuck’s mom. That’s weird!” Perhaps it was time to just close the door on Diana and put her out of business with him. Since Nate’s grandfather wasn’t bankrolling her that meant someone else had to be. So N turned to our resident PI Andrew Tyler. Tyler found out that Diana was getting funding from an Australian holding company. And one of the board members there was Jack Bass! Whoa!

Nate was determined to get to the bottom of the whole Jack/Diana connection. Andrew Tyler said the first record of Diana Payne was three years ago. Wait, hold up. What’s her real name then? So Nate got let into Diana’s hotel room and started snooping around. He found her planner. But before Nate could snatch it, Diana came in. What was he doing there? Nate said Diana was right all along. Their chemistry’s undeniable. And with that they started kissing, which led to you know what. Afterwards when Diana went to the bathroom, Nate jumped out of bed, grabbed the planner and got the heck out of there. Screw and run!

All the while, an issue of New York Magazine had come out featuring both Blair and Dan in the approval matrix. The only thing was that while Dan was considered highbrow/brilliant for writing a new book that wasn’t a cheap sequel to Inside, Blair was listed under lowbrow/brilliant for being married for less time than Kim Kardashian Ouch! B was obviously upset by this and thus set out to be just as highbrow as Dan!

Dan was one of the five nominees for the New York Public Library Young Lions Fiction Award. Naturally, Blair would be his date. She decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to showcase her true approval matrix rating: highbrow/despicable. After all, that was where all the true tastemakers and headliners were. What she had to do was do something magnanimous while also stealing Dan’s thunder. Uh oh.

When Dan went up to make his speech, Blair totally interrupted him to announce her plans to provide an endowment to the Young Lions foundation. People were shocked. Bravo, Blair. Because it truly was way despicable. Dan could not believe B would do such a thing. And he knew it was all because of the approval matrix. Who even cares about that? Blair confessed that she didn’t want to live in someone else’s shadow. That’s all she’s ever done in her past relationships. But Dan didn’t think that was the case. He thought they were equals. Perhaps Blair was too obsessed with how everyone else perceived her that she couldn’t see her true self. Amen!

Later that night, Blair admitted that Dan was right. The problem wasn’t his success. It was her own. She had lost her true self. But she wanted to be found. Maybe Dan could help? Aww.

At Lily’s dinner, the whole family showed up. Well, the whole family minus Rufus. He was still living in Brooklyn and she on the UES. Rufus thought they were supposed to be in a partnership but Lily didn’t seem like she wanted to be an equal partner. Lily had initially invited him to dinner to make amends. But then for some reason, she lied and told Rufus it had been canceled. Hmm. Anyway, the whole family and the reporter from NY Social Diary all sat around the dinner table. They were eating family style. Serena remarked that was sooo unlike her mother. Family style’s like so suburban. But Lily said in this family they love to share. You know, like how Carol stole her husband and decided to have his baby behind her back. Whoa! Thought Lily was going to sort if out calmly. Guess not! And right then and there, cops came out to arrest Carol for fraud. Carol pleaded with them she hadn’t committed the crime. It was Ivy! Too bad for Carol, because Lily now had Ivy on her side. Turned out, Ivy had given her statement in exchange for ratting out Carol. Ivy was going to get off scratch free. Carol? Not so much.

Lola was beyond upset about her mom’s arrest. And who was there to comfort her? Why daddy dearest, of course. Serena was livid. William was being so nice to Lola. All Serena wanted her whole life was a dad who cared about her. And now the minute William found out he was the father to someone else, he rushed to her side to play the part of dad. William had already broke her mom’s heart and now he’d broken Serena’s as well. Eek.

Rufus came to the UES apartment. He saw the news report about what went on at dinner. A dinner he was told was canceled. Busted, Lily! But she wasn’t apologizing. She said Carol needed to be punished. Rufus had a suspicion that Lily had paid off that nurse to lie in court. If this was the kind of person Lily wanted to be, Rufus didn’t want anything to do with it. Then Lily said the meanest thing ever to him: Where was Rufus going to find a rich UES woman who took care of him like she did? That must’ve stung. Rufus said they should spend time apart. Thought these 2 were perfect!!

At the jail, Carol signed over power of attorney to William who promised he’d make sure Lola was taken care of. But little did Carol know that William was in on the whole thing with Lily. Lily was the one who made William get Carol to sign. I mean, it was the least he could do after she found out about the lovechild. William wanted Lily’s word that she’d help out Lola. Lily said she wasn’t a monster. Of course, she’d help her out. Hmmm, not sure I’m buying it. And with that, William decided to leave New York. He had caused enough damage.

Lily paid Ivy (1 million dollars!!) for ratting on Carol. But Ivy really didn’t want the money. What she wanted was to be a part of the family once again. Could she please try to earn back a place in Lily’s heart? Lily was all “hell no!” Bye, Ivy. For real. And what do you know, Ivy ripped up the check. Girl, you crazy!

Now that they weren’t just cousins but sisters as well, Lola went to see Serena. Sadly for Lola, S wanted nothing to do with her. Stay away from their family. Yikes. But before Lola left she saw a piece of paper with the server name and address for Gossip Girl. Lola pocketed it. OMG what’s she gonna do with that??

And finally, after some time debating it, Chuck decided that he wanted a relationship with Diana now that he knew she was his mother. That’s cute. But then Nate received a picture from Elizabeth Fisher. It was a picture of her pregnant. With Chuck. Huh? So she was his mom after all? Nate assumed Jack paid Diana to lie. Yet why would Elizabeth deny being the blood donor? None of this made any sense. Then they realized it. The one common thread was Jack Bass. In the picture of preggers Elizabeth, a guy with a tattoo was cut out of it. Jack has the same exact tattoo. And that’s when Chuck realized something. What if the big question wasn’t who’s his mom but rather who’s his dad? OMG could it be? Was Jack Bass Chuck’s actual dad? AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Family! Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Often times they disappoint you. But just remember: blood is thicker than water. Xoxo Gossip Girl